“Don’t judge me” is trending – but neuroscience says it’s impossible

Expert commentary by CQUniversity educational neuroscience expert Dr Ragnar Purje

As phrases like “Don’t judge me” surge across social media feeds, CQUniversity educational neuroscience expert Dr Ragnar Purje is offering a blunt reality check: judgement isn’t a social flaw – it’s a biological necessity.

In a recent article published in Psychology Today, Dr Purje argues that human beings are hard-wired to judge, and always have been. Without judgement, he says, humanity simply would not have survived.

“Judgement isn’t something we can switch off because someone asks us to,” Dr Purje said.

“It’s built into our DNA. It’s how we navigate the world, keep ourselves safe, and make decisions – often without even realising we’re doing it.”

Dr Purje explains that from the moment humans developed consciousness, the brain evolved to make rapid, continuous judgements at both conscious and subconscious levels. 

These snap assessments help us avoid danger, interpret social situations and manage everyday life – from crossing a busy street to choosing where to sit in a crowded room.

“When two people walk towards each other on a footpath, they instinctively adjust their path to avoid colliding,” he said.

“That’s judgement in action. It’s automatic, unconscious and essential. Without it, we’d literally be bumping into each other all day.”

According to Dr Purje, calls not to be judged misunderstand how the human brain works. While individuals have free will over their own actions and responses, no one has control over the thoughts or judgements of others.

“You can’t stop people thinking, just as they can’t stop you thinking,” he said. “Adding phrases like ‘this is my personal truth’ doesn’t change that reality. Judgement will still occur, whether we like it or not.”

Rather than calling for judgement to disappear, Dr Purje believes the more productive conversation is about how people respond to it.

Drawing on the work of psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, he said the real power lies in the space between judgement and reaction.

“You will be judged, just as you will judge others,” he said. “What matters is what you choose to do next. That choice is where growth, responsibility and freedom live.”

Dr Purje said reframing the debate could help ease intergenerational tension and reduce social polarisation online.

“Judgement itself isn’t the enemy,” he said. “Unexamined reactions are. Understanding how our brains work gives us the chance to respond wisely – instead of pretending judgement doesn’t exist.”

CQUniversity offers a free microcredential, The Social Brain, providing an introduction to neuroscience and how the brain shapes behaviour, learning and decision-making. The course explores topics including human connection, learning and memory, good stress and bad stress, the brain–body link, and the role of nutrition and sleep in healthy brain development. It also challenges common neuromyths, such as left–right brain dominance, using research-based evidence to build practical understanding.