What parents can learn from the Socceroos' mental game

By Dr Alberto Filgueiras, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at CQUniversity Australia

The Socceroos have secured their sixth consecutive World Cup qualification, and while their tactical approach has grabbed headlines, there's something even more valuable for parents to notice: how mental skills made the difference.

The Socceroos faced exactly this challenge. 

Against Japan, they had only 30 per cent of possession. 

Against Saudi Arabia, just 32 per cent. 

Yet they remained mentally sharp, disciplined and ultimately successful. 

Here's what we can learn as parents supporting young athletes.

In grassroots and youth soccer, it’s common for parents to get frustrated when their children fail to make good decisions with the ball leading to poor passing or shooting.

But as the Socceroos have recently demonstrated that modern football is as much about positioning, tactical awareness and anticipation as it is about ball skills. 

What players do without the ball – reading the game, staying disciplined and thinking one step ahead – is just as critical to success.

Mental toughness isn't just 'toughing it out'

Many parents think mental toughness means telling kids to 'shake it off' or 'push through'. But sport psychology research shows it's much more sophisticated. Mental toughness is about regulating negative emotions to keep composed under pressure.

For your young athlete, this might look like maintaining focus when they're losing, sticking to their role even when the game isn't going their way, or bouncing back quickly from mistakes. These are skills we can actively develop.

What you can do:

• Give your child space to talk about their emotions without judgment – listen first and support gently and avoid giving solutions. Actions that might suit you, might not suit them
• Try contemplative and meditative practices together – science shows those activities increase mental toughness
• Celebrate smart decisions, even in difficult moments

Trust between coach and player starts at home

Recent research on coach-athlete relationships reveals something crucial: trust is often given quickly when a coach is new, but it's only sustained through consistent, trustworthy behaviour. The same principle applies to the parent-child relationship in sport.

When your child trusts their coach's game plan (even when it means less possession or a defensive role), they're more likely to stay disciplined and focused. But your child will mirror the trust you show in their coach – this is part of what’s known as the coach-parent-athlete triad. A healthy balance between wanting your child to succeed and respecting the coach’s decisions is key to their positive development, both on and off the field.

What you can do:

• Support your child's coach publicly, even when you disagree with decisions
• Model the same commitment to team goals that you expect from your child
• Leave technical and tactical advice to the coaches. Instead, focus on the joy of the game and let your child know how proud you are just to see them out there playing

Tactical discipline develops real-world skills

The Socceroos' success came from players who could interpret their coach's instructions and adapt them to changing game situations. This isn't blind obedience – it's cognitive flexibility.

Research with elite youth players shows that strong planning abilities and tactical awareness predict better decision-making. These cognitive skills transfer well beyond football: they're the same skills that help children succeed academically and socially.

What you can do:

• Watch games together and ask your child how they see the play unfolding – what each team is doing and what they might do in that situation. It builds understanding and tactical awareness
• Encourage them to think through game situations: "Why do you think the coach wants you to hold your position there?"
• Praise smart decision-making, even if the play doesn’t work out – it’s the thinking behind the action that matters most

Building Resilience Through Small Challenges

Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks and return to a steady state. You’ll often hear coaches on the sidelines shouting “Reset, restart!” – they’re calling for exactly that: the mental strength to move past mistakes and get straight back into the game.

The Socceroos didn't develop their mental strength overnight. It came from repeatedly facing difficult situations and learning to recover. Your child can develop the same qualities through age-appropriate challenges.

What you can do:

• Don't rescue your child from every sporting disappointment – help them process and learn from it.
• Focus on effort and improvement rather than results.
• Avoid showing frustration with their mistakes. Instead, praise their quick recovery.

The defensive mindset: patience and smart positioning

Interestingly, research shows that defenders and defensive midfielders often report higher levels of mental toughness, and this quality influences their teammates. There's something about the defensive mindset – patience, positioning, reading the game – that builds psychological strength.

Even if your child isn't a defender, these qualities are valuable. Scientific evidence suggests that midfielders and wingers are experts in waiting until the last second to find a breach in the defensive line. Learning to be patient, to wait for the right moment, and to prioritise team success over individual glory are life skills.

What you can do:

• Help your child appreciate the ‘less glamorous’ aspects of their sport
• Encourage your child to picture their role on both offense and defence. Visualising positioning and decision-making without the ball helps build stronger tactical awareness
• Support from sport psychologists or mindset coaches is often available through clubs – and can be a valuable resource. Stepping beyond your role as a parent can sometimes do more harm than good

Beyond the game

The Socceroos' qualification success isn't just about football – it's about discipline, trust, mental toughness and resilience. These are exactly the qualities we want to develop in our children, whether they become professional athletes or not.

By understanding how players’ mindset actually works and applying these insights to your child's sporting journey, you're not just helping them become better athletes, you're helping them develop the psychological tools they'll need throughout their lives.

Dr Alberto Filgueiras is a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at CQUniversity, with Masters and PhD degrees in developmental and cognitive neuroscience, and post-doctorates in Sport Sciences and Physical Education. He is a registered sport psychologist in Brazil and has worked with athletes from 13 nationalities, including Olympic medallists, world champions and professional footballers. His current research focuses on decision-making to enhance sport performance.